Pros & Cons
Married Rocks by Aleksander DragnesI know that no matter your situation, no one's life is perfect. Everyone has problems and issues. When I was single, I couldn't wait to be married so I could rid myself of all the cons of singledom. I hated being lonely at night and envied those that seemed to have it all together in the love department. Dating when you're single at times is the equivalent of stubbing your little toe. Just irritating and painful. All I had wanted was to be with someone I loved with all my soul. Get married and just grow old together.
Not so simple now that I have that. There is a huge difference being single (and dating) and being married. Especially if you break up. When you are simply dating and you break up, it's just a matter of you getting over it mentally. When you are married and you break up (divorce!), it is a matter of: mental, geographical, & dare I say logical. When you are dating and you break things off, there are no ties (well unless you have kids with that person, I suppose) for the most part. When you are married, there are soooo many things you have to consider.....your families being affected and possibly interfering........where you live...where would you both live if you have a child together? How would the custody work out? Splitting accounts and everything you have purchased together thus far. Not to mention just the heartbreak alone that the one person you thought would be by your side till doomsday is now going to be any given stranger passing you by on the streets.
Another big difference is trust. When you are single (but dating)...and someone betrays your trust, it is extremely hurtful. But when you're married, and your spouse betrays your trust...it is a different type of pain...probably because that person vowed under God to love and cherish only you, and then they don't. Not saying that it isn't about the same amount of pain whether you're in a serious relationship or married. But when you're married, you can say, "You vowed to love me forever and stay faithful!" Whereas if you are just dating, you can just say, "Why would you hurt me like this???" Trust when you are married is a huge thing. And when you got married, you entrusted this person with a huge part of you. When trust is broken, it seems impossible at times to get back. I'm not saying it can't happen..I"m just saying it's something that takes ALOT of freakin work to make happen again. And not everyone is up to that challenge....obviously...that's why the divorce rates are so high.
Also, when you are married...and if you are passing through bad times...it's almost like you learn a different type of loneliness. Married friends and single friends definitely have to have a strong friendship to remain close. As many friends do grow apart as time goes on and people take their own paths. Which of course usually always happen at different times. When you are single, you want to be settled down like your married friends, who seem to be off into the next phase of life, leaving you in the dust. When you are married though, especially if you and your spouse are going through hard times, it's as if you can't reach out to your single friends....almost like they wouldn't understand...so you won't bother.
I think there are pros and cons to both situations. I have now experienced both and which do I prefer? I'm not sure yet. I like the stability of knowing I'm married and loved. But being loved cannot save you from being hurt. So therefore I also like the quick escape route of being unmarried and if there were bad situations, I could just exit. Now, if I were to exit, there are so many other things in the drop down box of my life to contemplate. I guess nothing in life is ever meant to be easy.
Here are some quotes that I liked - "You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust." (and) "Let love rule thy heart, logic rule thy mind, and faith rule your soul."
