That's what time it is and I'm wide awake. Every so often I get bouts of insomnia...usually when I'm the most stressed. It is aggravating because my days (and nights) are currently filled with taking care of Christopher and that is no small task. So at a time like this, I should by all rights be passed out! But instead I am just online about to ramble about some things that are floatin around this noggin.

Motherhood so far..... In some ways it is easy to be a mother. It's easy to love your child. It's even easier to worry about your child. And then some. In other ways it is hard being a mommy. It's hard to let go of all the fears that you'll do something wrong or scar your kid for life. It's hard not knowing how to take care of them sometimes. But as the days go on, I'm adjusting more and more. Some things are easier...like getting used to being spit up on. Even though I swore I wouldn't, some days I do look like the spittin image of a haggard housewife! Don't get me wrong, I still shower and comb my hair. If someone stopped by I would be decent enough....but just not my old pizzazzy self.

I miss me sometimes! I am happy in this new phase of my life when the clubbin and barhopping slows....but at the same time when you never do it anymore, it is an easy craving to have. My insignificant other (can you tell I'm irritated with him right now?) and I met in a club and we agreed from the beginning that no matter what, we would still have fun and go out. I know that when you're a parent that it's not only harder to get out there (i.e. babysitters) but also it's not really realistic to expect to be out every weekend. I would be happy settling for at least a weekend out of every month to go out plus do something with my girlfriends at least every other weekend. Whether it is just going out for a drink or a bite to eat or even some shopping. I know if I was to be gone all the time that I wouldn't have enough quality time with Christopher (especially when I start working on top of school too). I want my baby to grow up with family dinners and church Sundays...etc etc... How do you fit all that in??? I guess you just make it happen!

What else is going on...... Need to get back running!

Well, I guess that's a gist of the crap in my brain right now. I'm actually finally startin to get a lil weary, so time to go lay it down. Tomorrow (or today, that is) is another day.