MOFO
Against the ODDS
against the odds by jenny downing (on the run)Halfway into my third year of marriage, I am realizing more than ever that marriage takes a ton of work. More work than people really think about when they say those vows. I see the couples that say they rarely fight and everything is hunky dory.......but to me that's baloney. Yep, I said BALONEY. For two people to never or rarely argue I don't think means that they are just the bomb and are perfect frickin individuals, I'm sorry. I think the actual situation is two people or at least one of the people not speaking their mind and letting stuff slide.
I think before two people get married, they should definitely get counseling for at least 6 months before they do the DO. Michael and I definitely could have benefited from that. No one is really going to know someone inside out literally I suppose, but most people say, "Hey I love that person and together we can face anything...LaLaLaaaaa!!" But in reality, when faced with life situations and relationship setbacks, that isn't so easy. Sometimes the easier route is to look for an escape and try to go back to the 'old life.' I mean, keepin it real, people are going to change and life is gonna hand you lemons sometimes. And sometimes we hurt those we love the most and do hurtful things to each other.
That's why statistics show: "The latest statistics claim roughly 60% of marriages end in divorce. Second or third marriages have only about 20% of couples remaining happily married. A full eighty percent of repeat marriages end in divorce." (from EZ Articles)
I saw a show on Oprah a few years back that focused on this issue and majority of those first divorces consisted of couples under the age of 30. I guess the younger generation is more apt to give up instead of face the trials and tribulations. So they say goodbye and proceed to try it again with someone new and fresh. Unfortunately, a lot of the time the problems that were in the first marriage will be there in the next relationship, because people don't focus on fixing their issues. Everyone wants to blame the other person. It takes two people to make things work, and without both parties willing to compromise, it will surely lead to an unhappy future.
These are the reasons that I believe divorce should be supported: infidelity and physical abuse (or verbal).
I've had the 'quitter' attitude and the 'compromise' attitude at different times in my marriage. I don't really think people should necessarily stay together for the kids either because sometimes two very unhappy people can cause more damage to their children then two happily divorced people. But at the same time, when contemplating splitting up, the child or children should be behind every thought and decision. Will it hurt the child more if the people stay together and fight constantly? I think so. But if those two people can work work work together and mend their problems, that would be even better.
On some television show the other day, this saying cracked me up, "Mend it, don't end it!" I guess it's not really meant to be hilarious, but for some reason it was to me...lol
I guess I'm done ranting about this subject. In the meantime, I will be working on myself in my marriage and doing the best I can to make it work from my end. It is never easy, though, but it's been said that anything worth anything won't come easy.
I think before two people get married, they should definitely get counseling for at least 6 months before they do the DO. Michael and I definitely could have benefited from that. No one is really going to know someone inside out literally I suppose, but most people say, "Hey I love that person and together we can face anything...LaLaLaaaaa!!" But in reality, when faced with life situations and relationship setbacks, that isn't so easy. Sometimes the easier route is to look for an escape and try to go back to the 'old life.' I mean, keepin it real, people are going to change and life is gonna hand you lemons sometimes. And sometimes we hurt those we love the most and do hurtful things to each other.
That's why statistics show: "The latest statistics claim roughly 60% of marriages end in divorce. Second or third marriages have only about 20% of couples remaining happily married. A full eighty percent of repeat marriages end in divorce." (from EZ Articles)
I saw a show on Oprah a few years back that focused on this issue and majority of those first divorces consisted of couples under the age of 30. I guess the younger generation is more apt to give up instead of face the trials and tribulations. So they say goodbye and proceed to try it again with someone new and fresh. Unfortunately, a lot of the time the problems that were in the first marriage will be there in the next relationship, because people don't focus on fixing their issues. Everyone wants to blame the other person. It takes two people to make things work, and without both parties willing to compromise, it will surely lead to an unhappy future.
These are the reasons that I believe divorce should be supported: infidelity and physical abuse (or verbal).
I've had the 'quitter' attitude and the 'compromise' attitude at different times in my marriage. I don't really think people should necessarily stay together for the kids either because sometimes two very unhappy people can cause more damage to their children then two happily divorced people. But at the same time, when contemplating splitting up, the child or children should be behind every thought and decision. Will it hurt the child more if the people stay together and fight constantly? I think so. But if those two people can work work work together and mend their problems, that would be even better.
On some television show the other day, this saying cracked me up, "Mend it, don't end it!" I guess it's not really meant to be hilarious, but for some reason it was to me...lol
I guess I'm done ranting about this subject. In the meantime, I will be working on myself in my marriage and doing the best I can to make it work from my end. It is never easy, though, but it's been said that anything worth anything won't come easy.
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